Q. Whats the fastest thing on two legs?
A. A Cambodian with a luncheon voucher

Estonia Ferry.
A Russian driver gets a phone call saying his lorry has been salvaged and he needs to get the next ferry across to collect it.He boards the ferry,enters the bar and orders a wiskey."would you like any water with that"asks the barmaid."yes please but not as much as last time".

Zebrugge.
I've got a cheap lorry for sale
I't fell off the back of a ferry

Q. What have the zebrugge ferry and a prostitute got in common?
A. They both go down with their flaps open.

They are holding a zebrugge reunion this year-Doors open at 7.
Larry Grayson's the compere-Shut that door.
Lionel Richie's doing the caberet-Dancing on the ceiling

Concord.
Q. How do you fit 100 Germans into a small hotel?
A. On the Concorde

The Concord pilot's wife asked him if he was coming home tonight?
He replied"No I'll probally crash at the hotel near the airport".

Lockerbie.
Q. Where do Americans go on holiday?
A. All over Scotland.

Marchoness.
Q. Whats the best way to get invited to the Reunion?
A. Just barge in.

A Playschool presenter was on the Marchoness
But she escaped through the round window.

Piper Alpha.
Q. Whats got four legs and goes woof?
A. Piper Alpha

Q. why wont the skipper be having sex tonight?
A. He left all his mates in the water.

N.A.S.A.
Q. what does nasa stand for?
A. Need another seven astronauts.

A lone gunman has been going around London shooting seiks.
They are calling him the Terbanator!

There were 4 guys sitting in a bar. One of them decided to play a little game about what each of them thought was the fastest thing in the world.
Well the first guy says, "I think a Concord Jet is the fastest thing in the world, because it can go faster than the speed of sound."
Well the second guy says, "Well I think I got you beat on that one! I think lightning is the fastest thing in the world, because it can go faster than the speed of light and sound."
Well the third guy says, "Well I believe i have both of you beat. The brain is the fastest thing in the world, because whenever you need something, it is right there for you."
Well the fourth guys clearly states, "Well I have got you all beat! I think the anal sphincter muscle is the fastest thing in the world."
The other three guys say really? Why's that?
And the fourth guys says, "Well I was on a Concord Jet, it got struck by lightning, and I didn't know what to do ... so I shit my pants!"

A little girl is standing by the edge of a cliff crying her eyes out. This man comes over and says, "What's wrong little girl?" The little girl still crying just points over to the edge of the cliff. The man looks over the edge and sees a car with the little girls parents mangled in the rocks below. The man turns round and undoing his flies says, "I guess it just ain't your lucky day"!!!